The faulty ear syndrome

After a few weeks of the release of the film Dhoom 3, some of our group people started iterating the very in vogue dialogue , "bande hai hum uske.." , and hence an innocent phrase was fidgeted with and the outcome was hysterical. As you know our country is so culturally rich  with so many languages, so we had a healthy discussion as to what this famous dialogue would sound like in different languages such as gujju, marathi, oriya, etc. So I start with gujju, the translation , which received by my faulty ear sounded like " aaye hai hum ma *****  ke", the gujju guy had since them taken a vow of silence in translating any phrase into his native language. Then we turned up to the oriya community, and again the faulty ear heard "monisha tohe tang kare" , so again the rest of the languages laughed together.

So today a guy in my office got up , all of  a sudden, his face lit up with excitement and oomph oozing out,he exuberantly claimed "insert ho gaya
!".
Proudly he said and then
I exploded laughing, with a bewildered look in my eyes that asked "kya
? kaha?
" . Then after a while
I realized that he was talking about data and database and not, you know what.

A daily conversation in the office cubicles , a guy was reading a pamphlet, some where it said "hot sticks", and they say a man only hears what he wants to hear, so yes you guessed it I heard "hot chicks" and again bewildered with my listening capabilities i asked where when , how many?

The faulty ear is not a road block just a lack of understanding, becasue the word chumma has different meanings in different languages, for e.g hindi it is a kiss and in tamizh it means "just like that", even then, if I hear chumma, and just like that, my eye brow is caught in a supernatural fish hook and is pulled up all by itself.

For more instances I need more memory, I am thinking of buying a portable invisible hard disk for my head, please if any body finds it, get me one along with an hearing aid for the aforementioned obvious reasons.

Welcome To Hyderabad

To whomsoever it may concern.
Disclaimer : this was written with no intention to hurt any sentiments dead or alive.
 If your first language isn't hindi, you might need a dictionary.

Ok college over, as well the long wait of landing my first job in hyderabad, I stepped out of the railway station, it was a cold morning. I was too early, earlier than expected like a man's leak during coitus. So as expected I was flooded with auto rickshaw drivers and a racial slur which I was not expecting at all, they all called me "randi" . In just a few minutes in hyderabad I was called a randi , I know have had that rather ironical comic abuse back home in UP, but this was coming from people I didn't even know. Frankly I was appalled and angry followed by a miniature scare what if he really takes me to a brothel and treats me the other way around. But after an ephemeral period it made sense when I met my old school friend Kartik and realized that he (the auto rickshaw driver) was just asking me to come (and not cum), to the auto rickshaw and gradually I settled.
Then a month down the road I kept getting calls on my docomo number , and my friends from the non telugu speaking part of the world accused my phone's service provider of abusing them incoherently. I swear I am not lying that the docomo machine spurred "ma randi" and everyone was  a little pissed, because in telugu the hot and sexy teller machine wanted people to join her and receive impeccable service from tata docomo.
Things were falling into place, I met more telugus who talked about brinjals and biscuits as if they were cursed or something.
And also every exclamation was marked by a cry to our beloved father "abbaaa" , no wonder these people love their families so much.
And now, 2 years later I still get cracked up on hearing the words like "randi" and "denge". It may be next to impossible to read these hot jalebis (telugu letters) but I am catching the language now and you know what I am loving it. I feel like I am a sailor exploring new things everyday in this vast sea of Hyderabad. And here is to more times like above and a bag of memories and conversations as my incorrigible handbag.
Kudos to all telugus, your chicken biryani is hotter than you people, sorry :)

Importance of building great teams and how?

Teams! The first thing comes to my mind is integrity, a team is nothing without co-operation and trust. Every team member has to realize the importance of his/her role and respect the same in others.
If you consider a group of individuals and assign them individual tasks which are subjected to complete one mission, it never works out, unless you motivate them enough to work together as a team to achieve the common objective. The individual supremacy is significant but without a team you just can't kiss success, our living legend Sachin Tendulkar is the proud epitome of the situation.
He delivered and delivered and after 28 years Indian National Cricket Team was able to grab the most prestigious cup in the cricketing world.

So we have reached the consensus as why teams are important, but the lingering question prevails , HOW?
So I come up with a 5 step plan.

1. Gather the team members and do an ice breaking session where the team members get an idea about what they are getting into and with whom they are supposed to be working.
2. Identify a leader who gels comfortably with all of the team members and speaks only wisdom.
3. The major objective or the common goal has to be further subdivided into smaller achievements and thresholds so that the team has a chronological order of going up.
4. After completion of each task or subdivision, the entire team must sit and discuss as how the entire process went.In other words have a debrief session.
5. There should be no filter to discard ideas from any of the team members, every team member is equal including the leader/captain . One for all and all for one.

Ideally, the above 5 points should, and I reiterate should do the trick, but not all situations are handled in an ideal fashion and not everyone can challenge the vicissitudes of fate , so presence of mind comes into play and there you test the real adaptability of the team and the support staff.

Ok, enough for me, here is what one of the best football managers, Arsene Wenger, had to say about a team.
"A football team is like a beautiful woman. When you do not tell her, she forgets she is beautiful."
As rightly put by Mr. Wenger, a team is a heart of an organization, it is like a woman, is capable of doing wonderful things.
You have to be extra cautious around a woman and expect unbelievable results, just like a team. You dare to challenge a woman's patience because "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" , similarly, as a team lashes out, the  miscreant can only look for an ephemeral shelter. In a team there is no one protagonist, no I, there is only we and the whole team becomes the ultimate protagonist in the aforementioned field , be it sports, corporate ,entertainment,etc.
And so I leave you with this joyous successful team which epitomizes the true values of a team :

Netherlands vs Costa Rica (4-3) Match Review

As the match went on, we saw something that seems inevitable and something truly more timely than a pickup line, the Tim Krul substitution at the 120th minute by Manchester United's newly signed manager Louis Van Gaal.
After a stalemate after normal time and extra time, the Dutch advanced to the semi-finals to face Argentina on Wednesday (9th July, 2014).
Costa Rican manager had put his strategy to perfection, and earned  goalless draw by keeping Arjen Robben and fray at bay. Navas showed some unbelievable reflexes and saved the goal post with utmost alacrity.
The game was enlightened by the obvious over dramatic dives of Arjen Robben and Sneijder's almost perfect attempts which rattled the woodwork twice. Costa Rica played with 5 defenders and they were outstanding in defense, Costa Rica had some chances of their own but Cillessen was not silent from stealing the show away form Navas.
After all the dives, the challenges, the yellow cards,the frustration and anguish, the game went into penalties and Van Gaal brought in Tim Krul , the newcastle united number one, who did the trick and attracted some more prize money for the Oranje.
Bryan Ruiz , the Costa Rican skipper and Umana missed their spot kicks , after some ingenious mind games by Tim Krul, who saved both of the kicks and handed Netherlands their first ever win via penalties.

France vs Switzerland ,Arena Fonte Nova, Salvador

Another blistering performance by les bleus stunned the Swiss with a 5-2 hauling.
In the first half it was all France, Oliver Giroud opened the scoring for France with a headed effort from the corner in the 17th minute.
67 seconds later , Matuidi scored placing the ball past Benagl, the Swiss man between the sticks,after a quick counter attack initiated by Cabaye.
It was not late until France scored a third via Valbuena who latched on to the cross by Giroud from the left flank , who tapped home from 3 yards out, in the 40th minute.
It seemed like France would stop there, but soon into the second half, Benzema scored capitalizing on a defensive error by former Arsenal man Senderos, which went between the legs of Benagl to make it 4-0 to les bleus.
And soon after in the 73rd minute Sissoko placed the ball into the a far corner perfectly , assisted by Benzema.
The scoreline was very dominating and demonstrative, but the Swiss pulled one back through a Dzemaili free kick which went through the wall and beyond the reach of Hugo Lloris into the bottom left hand corner. This goal was supposed to be a mere consolation for the Swiss but they hit back again with a superb ball into the path of Xhaka , who made no mistake and slotted the ball home, making it 5-2, the final score.
Benzema was robbed off the second goal ,the soon he hit the ball , the referee blew the final whistle and the ball was in the back of the net, but not counted.
A 7 goal thriller with all 7 different goal scorers, a brilliant team performance by France who are one of the contenders to win the cup. The French fans were ecstatic and Seven nation army was sung with more intensity and jubilation. This world cup has been by far the mother of all unpredictable world cups.

Italy vs Costa Rica , Arena Pernambuco

The underdogs have stunned the world yet again, Costa Ricans outplayed Italy to go through the knockout stage after earning a 1-0 win over the Azzuri.
The group of death has killed England out of the tournament with Costa Rica on 6 points and Italy and Urugauy on 3 points each, so that makes it mathematically impossible for Engladn to qualify.
The game was contested with great pace and movement on and off the ball.
Bryan Ruiz broke the deadlock in the 44th minute with a brilliant header that hits the crossbar and goes in , Goal line technology confirmed that. Diaz was exceptional throughout the game and his quintessential cross was good enough for Costa Rica to score first goal and hold on to the lead.
Minutes earlier Arsenal man Joel Campbell had  a strong appeal for a penalty denied after he was allegedly brought down by Chiellini inside the Azzuri box. Balotelli had two good chances to equalize but went begging.
I hope the queen is happy now, she doesn't have to do any favor to Super Mario.

Japan vs Greece, Estádio das Dunas, Natal FIFA World Cup 2014

And again we saw a goalless draw, but it looked like Endo and Honda might just break the deadlock and open the scoring.
Japan enjoyed majority of the passession but could not convert that possession into goals against 10-man Greece, who saw their captain Katsouranis receive two yellow cards and was sent off in the 37th minute.
Even though with 10 men, Samaras and Karagounis did try their best to break the ice, but Japan displayed a string defensive performance.
Greece earned a hard fought point which might just levy their chances to go through the next round.
The referee was more active than an old phone without internet, he was constantly giving fouls without any complaints and through my eyes J. Aguilar made all the right moves and judged the game flawlessly.
Hope to see more attacking football in their next games.

England vs Uruguay, Arena de São Paulo, Brazil.

So the much awaited game ends in Roo-ins for England as Suarez's brace edges Uruguay closer to the knock out stages of the 2014 FIFA World cup.
El Pistolero (4 weeks after a left knee surgery) scored the opener in the 39th minute, by heading the ball in the far post , beyond the reach of the English goalkeeper Joe Hart via a sublime cross from Edinson Cavani.
England didn't sit back and spurred their attacking arsenal forward and were rewarded by the Manchester United man Wayne Rooney , who equalised from a cross by Glen johnson in the 75th minute, the first goal for Shrek in the World cup finals.
IT didn't take long when suarez latched on the flick by edinson cavani and blasted past joe hart again in the 84th minute to complete his brace and give Uruguay a very good chance of qualifying into the next round.
Sturridge had a great game who's key pass initiated the Rooney goal.
IT wont be unfair to give man of the match to the Uruguain physio who made sure Suarez was at his best in this essential game.

Colombia vs Ivory Coast ,Estádio Nacional de Brasilia, Brasília FIFA World Cup

A kind of fragile and sleepy first half but somebody pushed the tempo in the second half and at the arrival of Didier Drogba for the Ivorians, the game exploded into goals.
First James Rodriguez with a sumptuous and powerful header which traveled through , in the roof of the net , from a well rehearsed corner kick in the 64th minute. 6 minutes later , the possession was squandered and Quintero scored an absolute quintessential goal for the Americans making it 2-0.
The game was edging towards a comfortable colombia win, but former Arsenal winger Gervinho pulled one back with a superb run from the left  flank into the box, evading two successive tackles and shooting the ball in the  back of the net, in the 73rd minute. Ivory coast pushed hard for an equaliser but just couldn't convert, with Serge "OH YEAH" putting in crosses one after the another , but in vain.
Bony had a wonderful opportunity to break the deadlock in the second half, but he couldn't get the ball on to his bones. Soon after he was replaced by the beast Didier Drogba, the Chelsea legend, and you know what happened later on.

Spain vs Chile , Maracana, Rio FIFA World Cup 2014

Just two games for Spain and history is written, Spain bows out of the world cup 2014 with a 2-0 defeat at the hands of Chile.
First-half goals from Eduardo Vargas and Charles Aranguiz were enough to give Chile a deserved win, which spells the end of Spain's defence of their title.
The defending champions (La Roja) looked shaky from the start and it was proved not until the 20th minute of the match when Vargas calmly slotted the ball past Iker Casillas into the bottom left hand corner of the goal. Casillas didn't have a good day at all, the seond goal in the 43rd minute was all but his howler. A beautifully taken free kick by Sanchez was parried into the legs of Aranguiz, who placed the ball in the goal with the outside of his right boot.
Spain did have a couple of chances of their own to turn the game around, Sergio Busquets missed an open goal opportunity, after getting the ball across from a Diego Costa's bicycle kick. Santi Cazorla tried to put the ball in the back of the net in the second half but Chilean goalkeeper Bravo made a fabulous save , diving to his right. The introduction of Fernando Torres in place of Diego Costa didn't spur any change as was anticipated.
All in all it was an absolutely wonderful performance by Sampaoli's men, they scored two goals in the first half and didn't concede a single goal from wave after wave of attack by the defending champions.
And as they say impossible is nothing, Chile just proved that and Spain are out of this prestigious tournament with back to back defeats at the hands of the Netherlands and Chile.

Australia vs Netherlands , Estadio Beira-Rio.

Australia vs Netherlands , Estadio Beira-Rio. #FIFAWorldCup2014
A 5 goal thriller ended 3-2 in the oranje's favor. A confident bunch managed by Van Gaal, took the game with more hunger than the Aussies. There is only one Aussie in the world cup Cahill who scored a sublime goal , with a superb left footed volley, onto the crossbar and in. It was a stalemate in the first half, until Robben with his gifted nimble feet, sprinted through on goal and put the ball past the Dutch goalkeeper Cillisen, and 70 seconds later Cahill equalized. The game was full of high tempo passing and dangerous balls from all sorts of positions. The second half sprung into life when Jedinak converted the spot kick after being awarded the penalty by an unintentional handball by Janmaat in the 54 minute.
Dutch didn't sit back and quickly increased their attacking flair to score 2 back to back goals by Robin Van Persie and Depay respectively. Now Holland is the first team who has confirmed their seat in the World cup Round of 16 in the 20th edition of the world cup held at Brazil. While Australia seemed to head their way home after the group stages after losing their first two games of the campaign. On the other hand Van perise will not be particiapting in the Dutch's last group match because of suspension so sit back relax and enjoy this unpredictable roller coaster ride. #Brazil LALALA!
The husband came over the boyfriend, Aww Z's are like just one night stand.

 

Brazil Vs Mexico, Estádio Castelão, Fortaleza

The most entertaining goalless draw of the world cup has embraced us at this time. Seleção Brasileira were held to a 0-0 draw against the Mexicans. Rafael Marquez leading his side for the 4th consecutive time in this world cup, earned a well fought point to strengthen their grip on to the Round of 16 in the World Cup finals.
The star of the show was undoubtedly the Mexican goal keeper Guillermo Ochoa who stopped attempts from point blank range. Neymar and Thiago Silva had golden opportunities to put the hosts in front but , Ochoa denied them defiantly. The game was just like two dudes fighting over a girl who is already married. The teams had to share the pieces, Brazuca was adamant of not going into any of the goals.

Iran vs Nigeria FIFA World cup 2014

Even though this is the first draw that too goalless in this 2014 edition of the FIFA World Cup held at Brazil, the match was contested mainly in the midfield. With Jon Obi Mikel and his men tried hard to break the ice but just couldn't , just like a guy trying to talk to his crush, but as majority of the cases , they failed to break the deadlock. IRAN on the other hand had some chances of their own with Reza positioning himself at the right place at the right time during set pieces. All in all it was a great game of football, an entertaining end to end waves of attack were witnessed but ended in a fair draw.

Germany vs Portugal 2014 FIFA world cup

So a cracker of a game comes to an end, Germany vs Portugal at the Arena Fonte Nova,Salvador . The mighty Germans crush
10 man portugal to a quadruple of excitement, 4 -0.
The game was marked by Thomas Muller's first half brace and then a third to complete the first hat trick of this FIFA woirld cup
2014 in Brazil. Hummels scoring the second for Deustschland , heading the ball past the Portugal goalkeepr Rui Patricio, from
a sumptuous corner kick by Toni Kroos.
Germany played brilliant crisp football with a lot of flair in their passing. The game reached boiling point when Pepe reacted
aggressively to Thomas Muller 's challenge for the ball which resulted in the Portugese centre back to depart the pitch, with a red
card on his chin.
Portugal did have some chances in the second half of the game, with Nani's thunderuous effort parried away by Neuer which
fell into Eder's path but was allegedly brought down by Mertsacker but referee denied Portugal a penalty.
Adding insult to defeat Portugal also lost Hugo Almeida and Fabio Conetrao through injuries.
With Ronaldo playing at risk after not being completely fit from his knee injury , it didnt look like the fine Ronaldo we saw in
the champions league for Real Madrid. However, Ronaldo made Neuer punch away a Ronaldo signature free kick for a corner in
the dying minutes of the game.

Belgium vs Algeria Match Review 2014 FIFA World Cup

So eventually the Dark Horses make their mark in the World Cup 2014. A tightly contested game ended in a 2-1 comeback victory for Belgium over Algeria. Sofiane Feghouli scored the opener from the spot, but Marc Wilmots' men turned up their game in the second-half to defeat the African nation. At a time it looked like the Algeria bus was firmly parked by Mertens bazooka destroyed the parking symbol off it. Most strikers would have placed the ball round the goal keeper in the near post but Mertens, my word, what a finish, he just fired the ball in the back of the net. With Felliani equalising for les Diables Rouges with a well taken header , crossed by De Bruyne.
It was looking like an upset pulled by Algeria , the underdogs, just like a heart after a break up, Algeria were disappointed to see the game taken away from them. The skin tight jerseys of Algeria were no match to the loose fittings of the Swiss company Burrda's Dark horses.