The Dance of alphabets

The war of words, the dance of the elements of nature is all that good to look at, but a blemish if it exceeds its expiry date.
So here I am, again, to disclose the ugly truth about the dance of alphabets or the juxtaposition of cursive letters on papers and web pages. The flow of ink, or the colour in different HTML codes, or just an erroneous spill can easily aggravate an entire cult or carve a giant.
So here is to the spirit of conversation, the modes of expressing your love or disgust for someone which sometimes , somehow, goes, horribly, wrong. I am sorry, but it is a normal calamity and a very generic one in this contemporary time.

When you lose concentration, you are not clear in your expression and hence emerges a guy/girl with an outstanding sense of humour, so this what a mail read on my monitor some months ago:

"here are the areas for the interested men
_________
|________|
 , to join the seminar, please insert below."

it was an official mail, asking all candidates to put in their names and ids and all to attend a learning activity, or may be they would show some "educational" videos , something I beckon.

Speaking of beckoning, I was always curious about the origins of our very famous proverbs, to cite one, "haath ko aaya muh na laga", translated as "so near ,yet so far", this idiom has a historic significance to it. To picture the hysteria , imagine a wedding ceremony is going on, the fiancés exchange rings, by obviously holding each other hands, but just as soon as they are going to do anything more, they are repelled like similar poles of a magnet, may be by explicit force or implicit, but the bottom line, they are not allowed to kiss each other. Hence the phrase, "haath ko aya par muh na lagaa" . Just think about it.
Irreverence is to be avoided, but with improper punctuations, you cant control your contextual excellence, hence "hum ,denge." becomes "we'll, fuck  you! " in telugu.
Androgyny is an immaculate laughing stock, rather than a symbol of power and/or leadership.
Ok enough bragging for tonight, I know, penance will not absolve my sins. I am just saying I know some heavy words in English, let me know if you know more synonyms of synonyms, smart people.
Also make a choice between a beef cake and a strudel wisely.
I dare you.


 

Business "dog"

Disclaimer: This story was narrated by 7th standard kids from the orphanage Thara, Bowenpally.

One upon a time there was a dog who was born in Switzerland, and this dog was no ordinary dog. He was predestined for greatness , with a will to rule the world. Shortly, his will took him to Russia, where ,using his benevolent super powers, killed every human and took over the country, and thus was a business dog named Dairy. It was not long when Dairy was a popular figure in the business world, a tycoon. And it was no surprise to see the dog bone as the logo of his company.

Dairy just didn't stop there, and he soon found himself in various countries all across Europe and the world. He went to China to learn kung-fu and be invincible. The omnipotent Dairy, had conquered the skill to defeat opponents bare handed, however didn't have any answer for disobedient bullets which were fired in the chaotic world of kung-fu. In an awful misfire, Dairy got hit on his left limb, and was a victim of the innocent crime of walking without any security by his side. Determined to rule , this dog didn't give up and immediately headed towards the humongous mountain range of the Himalayas. With almost 6 months of meditation and focus, Dairy did manage to attract the attention of the dog Gods. He epitomized the saying "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", and was seeking eternal assistance.

Apparently there are 4 Gods for the dogs, the details are still a little perky. Anyways, the Gods were impressed by Dairy and since there were 4 of them, they each granted him one wish. There was no hesitation in Dairy's ingenious mind , as he demanded for a Robocop as his security guards , to protect him from any mishap of any kind in the future. Hence , surrounded by 4 robocops, Dairy felt indignant and proud in his every step and was perpetual in his quest of owning everything.

Following the timeline, Dairy was meeting contacts for his ever expanding business prospects. In order to expedite his growing business, Dairy sat on his private jet heading towards USA.

Little did he know, that in no time he would meet the love of his life while being 36,000 feet above sea level. This fabulous, adorable, sweet, charming little cat named Fairy was returning from Mexico to Saudi Arabia, her home. Draco, her father was waiting for her with open arms, to welcome her to the place which he ruled, the animal kingdom in the middle east. So as the commercial plane of  Fairy flew towards the middle east, and Dairy's private jet was edging closer to the United States, mid way the two pair of eyes met. Diary's tired window eyes were rejuvenated by the pious beauty adorned by Fairy's pair of mesmerizing eyes. They say that love at first sight is over hyped , but not in this requited love story.

The Dairy's private jet ,instantly changed its course to pursue its love, and Dairy followed suit to meet his beloved Fairy. At the airport, the odyssey of love was emanated. And soon they were in the same palace, where Dairy attended Fairy's swayamvar conducted by Draco. Dairy sneaked in with an impeccable disguise, wearing a toupee and shades, making him unrecognizable by the cat's fray. The task was simple, just as Lord Rama lifted the bow to win Sita, Dairy had to lift a large bone with three elephants sitting at equal distances from each other. The stylish Dairy stood next to the world's heaviest bone, placed one hand on it, looked deep into Fairy's eyes from an eternal distance, one whiff of air from his mouth and effortlessly lifted his prodigy. Meanwhile, the disguise couldn't hold much longer as the huffs and puffs blew it away revealing Dairy's true identity causing a pandemonium in the entire middle east.

The chase was on, and Dairy was up for grabs, he was literally up, via his robocops and eloped with Fairy since officially he had won her over at the swayamwar, but Draco was against the very thought of marrying his daughter to a dog. As Dairy flew back to Russia, Draco didn't waste much time to gather his army and headed North East to confront Dairy in his own backyard and take back his daughter Fairy.

Dairy knew the day would come where he will have to use his kung-fu, so he suited up, a white samurai get up with a black belt around his waist and a sword running along his spine , placed perfectly for a smooth retrieval. With a lot of firings and lasers, both armies destroyed themselves, all the robocops malfunctioned and expired killing all the members of the Draco's fray. And in a remarkable turn of events,they end up with Draco vs Dairy, mano-a-mano, on the top of a mountain, on a cold day, in Russia. With Fairy eves dropping at Dairy, watching the entire action, didn't want to lose her father , Draco was in a sulk.

Hence the story makers came up with two fabulous endings to this extra ordinary epic drama.

Ending 1: Draco convinces Dairy to get rid of all the competition of Draco's in Saudi Arabia and he will get Fairy married to Dairy in  grand fashion. Contemplating on the pros of the deal, Dairy agreed and using his astute skills he emulated the Godfather, killing every gangster who were willing to outdo Draco to conquer Saudi Arabia. Executing his plan flawlessly, Dairy earned Draco's trust and as well as Fairy's hand in marriage. And they lived happily ever after.

Ending 2: Dairy fights Draco on the edge of the mountain, with Fairy watching on, from a safe distance. With a spree of hits from both parties, Draco was looking strong and on the verge of victory, but just as Draco tried to impale Dairy's guts with his weary sword, Dairy shifted sideways thrusting his impeccable sword into Draco's abdomen. Lifting him overhead, throwing his body away for a veracious victory. But surprisingly, the mountain they were fighting on, in Russia, was a secret volcano which erupted just as soon as Draco's dead body landed on the tip of the mountain. Setting ablaze Draco's entire body and Dairy's gorgeous tail. Fairy did her part of running in slow motion towards Dairy, who grabbed hold of the ground above , from falling into the hot lava. Somehow, Fairy caught Dairy, but slipped down below , holding one of the trailing legs of Dairy. With inches from the burning lava, and witnessing the burning of his beloved's tail, Fairy followed suit, lowering her lower body into the lava burning her tail. This was the sacrifice she made for her brand new victorious groom. With all his heart and all his tenacity and all his strength pulled himself up along with Fairy, saving her from the fire which wouldn't stop rising. Rescuing his love, Dairy reconstructed his empire brick by brick and then they lived happily ever after.

Welcome to Mumbai

To relive the night life, I came , I saw and got conquered.

Saturday night, the most exciting of nights, I went , I enjoyed, inhaled the awesomeness of the legendary gateway of India.

So till andheri it was a smooth ride in my maiden Mumbai local railways. The train , instead of expediting itself, went slow and stopped at all 4 stations till borivali. Well as they say age is just a number so was this the number of stoppages before I collapse to my rightful destination at borivali, but an extraordinary odyssey.

Optimistically hoping that I will be off from this chaos, on a Saturday night at 11:56 PM (local time) , while I stood like the capital letter H, in the ample crowded compartment. I was happy, I wanted to dance, but no no no no no, the mob won't let you. I am so glad that I don't have a 36-36-36 figure, otherwise it would have been a lot more difficult just to breathe. As I stood like a statue,or like a King getting his portrait made, yes in the form of letter H, my adequately insane mind, fantasized about a couple of avatars. I so badly wanted to be spiderman, if I had the powers I could stick my self on the roof, and enjoy the solitude there, or even without the super powers, my rubber suit would let me move freely through bodies like a snake. Secondly, I thought of preparing myself for the ride, by putting oil on my body, if not with the odour, I would slip right through those solid standing pates, and enter my zone of an overwhelming loneliness.

Adding insult to injury, it was saturday night, and people love to drink, and majority of them were drunk and hence enjoyed the little sways and shoves of the train's movement. It was one of many nights when I wasn't drunk and it was like a felony not to drink on  a satruday night, as this remark was hurled at me ,"You didn't drink, that's your fault" . The drunkards didn't feel that much pain, which were reciprocated by my pelvis and the small of my back. I think they were blessed with the elixir they gulped.

Anyways, the unfortunate sober people , like myself, did finally taste victory when I repositioned myself , somehow, till the end of that weird tunnel, where the light was. A sweet taste of air was embraced by my thirsty lungs. And then the auto rickshaw back home was an entirely different anecdote.

So future travellers and enthusiasts, beware of this local railway, but it doesn't matter what you read here, you have to see it to believe it, hope to hear from you guys about your horrendous or may be majestic anecdotes.